While I sometimes feel like “season” is one of those kind of buzz words, but at least this week I am liking it. Summer has hit New England full throttle this weekend, and I keep reminding myself: it’s just one season. This, too, shall pass. So if singleness is a season and not a vocation (let’s not debate, please), then it, too, shall pass!
The Seraphic Singles site (first link above) recently wrote about the “burden of Love,” when it is painful to want to give of yourself in love, but there is no real medium for reception. And this is my number one bugaboo about being single. No amount of “I can do X because I’m single” makes up for the fact that there’s a limited means of communion of persons.
So she also wrote about surviving wedding season as a single. What I find interesting in my circle of friends, colleagues, and fellow grad school alumnae is that I actually have been to two weddings in the past 5 years. Just two. Perhaps that is because I don’t have deep friendships within the Catholic circles near me. There, they’re getting engaged by the DAY. Maybe because it has only been 2 in 5 years, but I love attending weddings.
In fact, I discovered that I could relieve my “burden of Love” by aiding a dear friend at her wedding last year. I did her hair, gave her a high five for choosing a dress with a simple zipper (what groom wants to undo 50 buttons?), brought the newlyweds food, and finally got to collapse with unlimited glasses of Pinot Grigio. When I cried, it was not for myself, but for the beauty of a bride belting out the alleluia (she’s the parish choir alto) and her parents celebrating the 60th anniversary of their first date that weekend with her father serenading her mother “Let me call you sweetheart; I’m in love with you.”
That being said, I do understand how weddings can be tough on the perpetually single. Perhaps another reason I feel okay about weddings is that I have inoculated myself. Just like a dose of dead virus cells vaccinate you against a disease, so too does watching I Found the Gown and other wedding shows prevent nasty cases of marriage jealousy. Must have something to do with watching the inspiring brides, hate-watching the exasperating ones, and smugly telling yourself you’ll do it better when it’s your turn.
Okay…one of those “I love being Single because of X” comments: I love being single because there is no one to judge the extra-tall glass of White Zinfandel (what, it’s PINK!) on this hot, hot night and my leaving this blog post to get another.