October 22: Patience
Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to “really” begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?
I’m now 28 and a half years old. Oh heck yeah I’m impatient for life to “really” begin. I have the job, the social life, the car, the desire to sacrifice for the Kingdom…and yet I do not have the man. Other women my age are getting the man. My regular prayer to God is “Oh, come on! Hurry it up!”
Then I calm down and think: God is not upset about my life. I am. Perhaps if I take a step back I can see that I am living out my call…this is who God calls me to be today, what I’m supposed to do today. Maybe the most-in-the-future thing He wants me to know I’m supposed to do is simply my choice of plans for tomorrow night: HGTV or writing or being available for a friend or…anything. And to see that my life is going on right now. It already started and has been going on for 28.5 years
Sometimes that helps. And then I get another engagement announcement on my Facebook feed. From a 23-year-old. Who met her fiancée at the first ever parish young adult event she went to. He and I had been attending that group for 3 years. 😛
But then I fall back to my most usual impatience-buster: to be proactive in hurrying circumstances along. Fire up the CatholicMatch. Agree to go to events I wasn’t previously considering, purely for the sake of “need to meet more people! And if it’s a lady group, well, they might have male relatives!” It usually helps for a while. But deep tissue healing? Hmmm…
I had everything up until the stars ready to post but then simply had no time to finish until today. and over the weekend I heard an excellent piece of advice from a priest at a homily: “Let God finish the story.” As a writer who just came from a book festival, this particular phrasing tickled my heart.
See, writers are in charge of the story: they move the plot along, they whip up Mr. Perfect in a few paragraphs, essentially be the god of the world of the book. They get to be in control. But when it comes to real life, we are not in control, and it’s so hard when we think we are to cede it back to God. But then I remember, that as a writer, I sometimes get stuck with a plot point or am hating a character and wish someone else would just finish it so the target word count gets hit or I make a deadline.
And there it is. I can have that “ease” in my love life when it gets hard or I just want to be done. I can sit back and let God finish my story. He’s been a pretty good Author so far. 🙂